I Am Not An Expert Mum.

I am not an Expert Mum

On a trip to the nurse this week (jabs, ugh), the nurse said “Oh I do like it when the expert mums come in, it makes my job so much easier”. I was very quick to correct her that I am far from an expert and would, at best, describe myself as a practising novice. It got me thinking, is that what people see me as? Do people think that because I have created 4 (super amazing) children, that these 4 children are fed and clean (most of the time) and that they say their pleases and thank you’s, that I might have a clue as to what the hell this parenting malarkey is about?! I’m afraid I’m going to have to burst their bubble.

I am not an expert Mum by any stretch of the imagination, and people that do think they are experts at parenting kinda piss me off. To me, parenting is a combination of trial/error and common sense. People think that just because I’ve been there already (in some cases 4 times over), that I’m some sort of aficionado on child rearing. The honest truth is that while I have learnt from mistakes with one child, I have made different ones with the other. Sometimes I make the same mistake time and time again because I have simply forgotten how I did things with the last! Bloody baby brain.

I’m not a fan of giving advice either. It may be that I don’t have much confidence in myself, but I don’t always think that MY way is the BEST way. If asked “what would you do”, I would just relay what I did with each child and see if any of those appealed.

And I’m always trying to learn. Has anyone else noticed that “official advice” changes around every 3 years?! Use cot bumpers, don’t use cot bumpers, wrap them up, don’t wrap them up, wash them with this, no wash them with that. Its always changing!!! Plus, my kids are always growing, always changing and more often than not growing in different ways. Not all children will potty train/wean/walk at the same time as their little brother/sister so don’t assume that what you did last time is going to work this time (case in point being my 3 1/2 year old that still won’t sleep through the night while my 3 month old will). I always have a parenting book on the go, and I always re-read books too. I got “The Baby Whisperer” the other week from the library, only to skim through it as a refresher on what to do with Twiglet to get her into a bit more of a routine. I also got a book about tween behaviour, because knowledge is power!(as is control of the kindle charger).

In summary, no matter how many kids I have, no matter how many different situations I have been in, I am not an expert parent, and I doubt I will ever be.

Homemade Sleepyhead




I am a little addicted to Instagram ATM. And one of the big trends are these baby nests. The Sleepyhead is the most popular, and one of the most expensive too! I’ve got 4 kids, I can’t afford haircuts, let alone £100 on a Sleepyhead!!!! So I turned to the wonders of Pinterest and made my own. Suck it, Sleepyhead.


Twiglet seems to like it and sleeps so well in it. We are transitioning to her cot (in our room) soon, so this will be an ideal way to help settle her in.

In case you aren’t a whizz on the sewing machine, you can grab a Sloeepyhead from Amazon for only £99.

Sleepyhead – Amazon – £99

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Diastasis Recti – Or, That Arsing Mummy Tummy

As I mentioned in my last post, my tummy muscles still have a great big gap in the middle. Balls. This means no crunches or much ab work. This means flabby belly. This means miserable Mummy. I worked really hard on changing my body so that I would actually like myself and now I’m back to square bloody one again. I’m trying to keep my muscles engaged all the time and am doing some specific exercises to get them back together. Only time will tell if they actually work!!

Diastasis Recti Infographic | MuTu System

Barre Workout

I am trying really hard to lose this dreaded baby weight😦, although obviously not hard enough. Turns out that 30 day shred is not a good idea when you have Diastatis Recti still so that’s out the window. I’m really annoyed that I can’t do too much ab work, and just want my muscles to knit back together so that I can get rid of this sodding belly.


I’ve gone back to the old reliable Fitness Blender videos (thx youtube), and in particular the Barre workout. There are only one or two exercises I can’t do and I’ve found that it still works my core quite well, without putting too much strain on my muscles.

How long did it take for everyones muscles to knit back together? I’m not sure I even bothered checking with the other pregnancies, but i’m sure it’s not supposed to take this long, is it? Any advice is appreciated!!!

Twiglets Two Month Round Up

Time. Goes. So. Quickly. The last month has absolutely flown by. Twiglet has been to see all three of her siblings in their different Christmas plays, has been to all of their parent/teacher consultations and has done countless shopping trips trying to get ready for Christmas. She is much more alert now. We get smiles every time we gaze at her! She has just started to get into a bit of a routine with her “awake times” AND she is sleeping from 11-5/6am. She truly is a perfect baby.

two months

Here is the two month round up on my smallest little bundle:


  • Smiling. She will even smile at the sound of our voices, without even seeing us!
  • Bunny. I crocheted her a little stuffed bunny and she is mesmorised by it.
  • The sling. A total essential when doing the school run (especially when I have 3 different classrooms to drop off to) and once I pop her in, she is asleep by the time I get to the end of the road.


  • Wind. We are still suffering a little bit each night, but gripe water seems to cure it.
  • Her car seat. Screams as soon as she is put in it.
  • Christmas shoppers who seem to completely ignore her in the sling and bash into her without saying sorry.

Best moment of the last month:

  • Seeing that great big smile every day.

Worst moment of the last month:

  • Jabs. And the lurgy that followed.

I know Christmas is a busy time of year for us, and I’m hoping that that is why this last month has just flown by. I really hope that time isn’t going to go this quickly next year because I really feel like I’m so busy I don’t have time to really enjoy Twiglet. Any free time I do have is spent doing housework or shopping😦. Hopefully Twiglet’s first Christmas will be a great time for all of us to spend some much needed quality time together and to try and slow life down a little!

Derek The Donkey

Our little part of Devon is a tad religious. The local church takes over the school every weekend and most holidays, making it a pretty central focus for our “suburb”. They  have also positively impacted our lives by bringing a weeks worth of cooked meals round when we had twiglet (HUGE help), embracing J into the youth group and giving me an entire week off by providing a holiday club in the summer holidays (God bless free childcare).

So while we aren’t church goers, we do feel a little bit of a bond with the local church. So when they announced they were creating a life sized advent calendar and we’re looking for volunteers, I couldn’t say no!

Basically you open your door/garage/driveway to reveal something “adventy”. After too much searching on Pinterest (which, btw, the vicars wife LOVES! I’m practically in the gang already), we came up with the idea to decoupage a donkey. I know. Piece of piss.

Derek didn’t turn out too bad, and all the faults were hidden by the fact that it was dark outside, phew. Mince pies were eaten, hot chocolate was drank and the kids had a brilliant time making Derek the Donkey festive.

Derek being decorated. 

Derek getting ready for his debut  

Derek under construction. 

I feel like this was our little bit if giving back to the church community, and the kids absolutely loved it! Not sure we’ll do it again next year, but then again Derek does need a mate…….

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My Random Musings
My Kid Doesn't Poop Rainbows


Shred That Baby Weight!

So there is 31 days till Christmas. 31. That’s all. 4 more weekends. 19 school days. 3 school plays, 1 recorder recital, 3 birthday parties (not ours), one craft event (organised by yours truly), one Christmas advent night (yeah sure i’ll have half the village round and host something “adventy” for an evening, not enough hours in the day!!!

Combine all of that with trying to organise xmas presents with a baby permanently attached to me, and I think it’s safe to say that I might be a little busy for the next month. So, of course, I thought it only sensible that, seeing as I have f*&k all time, that I will do Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred too. I really want to get to my interim goal weight by xmas, or at least close to it. I’m only a stone away from my pre-baby weight, but not being able to exercise has meant that it has not been falling off as i’d like! I’ve found in the past that 30 Day Shred, combined with MyFitnessPal works best for me, so that’s what I’m gonna try this time round! Oh, and hopefully if I find 30 mins child free (I know, I’m laughing my socks off too), I’m going to try and go for a run 3 times a week.

Of course this is all really good in theory, so we will just have to see how we get on in practice. Here are a few 30 Day Shred calendars that I’ve discovered on Pinterest which will hopefully keep me motivated.


30 Day Shred Schedule. I will fit into that Halloween costume if it kills me.:

Source: http://emsyjo.blogspot.co.uk/2013/01/the-30-day-shred-lets-do-it.html

I love doing Jillian Michaels 30 day shred!:

Source: http://www.heandsheeatclean.com/blog/2014/01/jillian-michaels-detox-water

30 Day Shred Calendar. Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred. 30DS. www.saigeandswayzee.blogspot.com:

Source: http://saigeandswayzee.blogspot.co.uk/search?q=shred

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My Kid Doesn't Poop Rainbows
My Random Musings
Baby Brain Memoirs

Twiglet, The One Month Round Up

I can’t believe that it has been an entire month since Twiglet was born. It has gone so so so quickly! She has already grown out of some clothes, is holding her head up for longer periods of time and is smiling! It is the cutest thing EVER! (Well apart from my other gorgeous bunnies, who are also super cute).


So…………..here is my one month round up on my smallest little bundle:


  • Milk, but only from a Dr Browns bottle, natch.
  • Her big brother, I think it’s something to do with those big rimmed glasses
  • Daddies boomy voice, I’m putting this down to the skin to skin she got from Daddy in the operating theatre.


  • A clean nappy. Pooing in a clean nappy is much more fun.
  • Wind.
  • Match Of The Day, oh no wait, that’s Mummy

Best moment of the last month:

  • Meeting her brothers and sisters (oh and Mum and Dad of course)

Worst moment of the last month:

  • Catching a cold and having a bunged up nose😦


I have to say that the first month of having Twiglet isn’t quite what I was expecting. Newborn babies I know how to handle, I totally have that shiz down. Handling a 3yo, a 6yo and a 9yo I can do spinning on my t&^s. Doing both, at the same time, while juggling Christmas shopping, school plays, parent/teacher meetings and everything else, is not so easy. Thank god for coffee……………..and wine!


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